Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
