You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
