How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize