...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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