i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
