don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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