The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm at about main and main street
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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