I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize