please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
