I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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