Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
