Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
