I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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