Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
