worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
