So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
