Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
