I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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