i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I cut my penus on the lid.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
