There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
