Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
