She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
