It's Friday. Sex?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
