not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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