The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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