ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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