So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
