last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
