So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
