it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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