This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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