the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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