I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize