Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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