worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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