So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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