i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
