I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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