I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
