Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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