You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
