everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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