Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
