ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize