belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
