so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
