Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
