I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize