so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
