I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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