Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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