please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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