ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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