She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
