is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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