I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
