I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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