forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
