Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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