covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
