the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
